THE GRACE FOR HEADSHIP

                                                                                  NGOZI CHARLES UDOFIA

THE GRACE FOR HEADSHIP

From the beginning the woman was given a supportive role by God to aid, assist, and stand alongside of the man. Infact, she was called a helpmeet at Eden. In all the duties expected from the woman before her creation, headship was never part of it because to be the head means to be in authority.

First, let me make it clear what headship is not: it is not justification for men to control, demean, and enslave their wives in the name of religion.  Sadly, many men in the church mistakenly believe this to be true and quote countless Scriptures roughly out of context to support their misguided thinking.

Rather, headship can be defined as the divine calling of a husband to take primary RESPONSIBILITY for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection and provision in the home. As a result, headship authority exists and is being exercised by the men (only) to further the agenda of Christ and it is demonstrated in the way they lay down their lives for the good of their home and everyone in it. This simply means that the man has been given the special responsibility to lead his family whether he is poor, weak, illiterate, timid and naïve or just name it.

Ironically, the multi-facet gift of the woman puts her in a controversial position that sometimes assumes her the leader instead of the helper that she truly is. Today’s woman has been over brushed with education, career, financial empowerment, societal class and exposures amongst others that she has almost left her role as a helpmeet to stamping her orders in the home in the name of leadership .  Or could it be that the man has pretended to forget his role as a leader and that has made the woman now to stand to the challenge of leadership instead of the family to be totally left out of a leader in quote.

 Whatever the reasons may be, the relationship between the woman and her husband is supposed to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other. Jesus gave Himself to make the church holy, radiant, and blameless, to the point of sacrificing Himself on the cross for her.  Yes sacrificial living is supposed to be the foundation on which headship should be built upon but what if that is not the case?

What if the man is living a self-centered, self focused and self absorbed lifestyle sweetheart what do you do.  What if he creates the environment where he orders his wife and children around like a grand sultan or an emir (whose wives should be in the pudar) and constantly subjects her with all the Biblical verses about submission that he has crammed. A preacher once said that Gods word in the hands of a religious fool can do immense harm. In all these attitudes, do we have any reason not to willingly submit to the headship of our God given leaders cum spouses? The answer is no. So what do we do?

HAVING A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF GODSWORD

Reading and understanding Gods word is one thing and having a personal experience/testimony of what Gods word has proved out in your life is another.  A journey into Gods word with the help of the Holy Spirit will make you understand that for you to truly submit to your spouse you must be able to totally submit to the headship of Jesus Christ first and foremost.

God’s word will also help you to realize that no matter what you think that you have as a woman: money, class, professional expertise or gigantic spirituality etc, you do not have the headship of the home, simple.  It’s this walk into Gods word that will help you to learn how to sink your individuality in your spouse, become safe enough in his presence to always bare your mind, trust his love enough to express your mistakes without feeling that he will disgrace or embarrass you, his smiling gratitude becomes all you need as a reward and gradually making him your paradise.

CONSTANTLY PRAYING FOR HIM ON GRACE FOR LEADERSHIP

It’s not a surprise that some men naturally expects their wives to take the lead; to be responsible for the upbringing of their children, lavish their finance for the well keep of the home and even lead in the spiritual activities/commitments in the home thereby abandoning their God given manhood responsibility.  For these kinds of men, rarely will they make decisions, provide direction or even be open to discuss any matter because they believe that the woman of the house is quite capable to handle it all.  Yet, there are others who actually lead their home by making the environment to be a living hell for everyone.  It therefore becomes our responsibility as women to constantly pray that our men will have the grace for headship. This will be demonstrated when he has the character of Christ to encourage and equip everyone in the home to love, honor, and glorify God, love each other, and experience the blessings that naturally flow inside of this kind of environment.

As we obey Gods word and pray for these men to have the grace for headship, the Almighty God who has made weak vessels like us to become the great and life helpers of these leaders will give us the wisdom to know what to do and say per time in Jesus name. Amen.