COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP

       

COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP

Communication starts from the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people information.  Speech is the fastest method of communication between people.  All channels of communication need to be kept open for a relationship to be fully realized as dreamt of.

Communication then is the giving and receiving of information and it involves more than just the giving of information but the information given must be heard and understood.  It is important to understand that where there is no information there is no communication.

Communication is the live wire of any relationship.  Therefore, for any relationship to be successful be it, spouse, family, friends, neighbors, colleagues etc.  Information is vital and this is particularly true when it comes to understanding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Communication is a combination of three things namely:

WHAT WE SAY:      Our choice of words is important

HOW WE SAY IT:    This means about the attitude displayed when communicating.

WHEN WE SPEAK: The timing of when we choose to speak.

Communication is the heart of every relationship and is primarily about the use of words.

CHOOSING YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY:

The bible describes the tongue of the righteous as a well of life but also says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND:

What do you meditate on?  What constitutes your thought about life.  The only way to keep your thoughts whole and inline with God is to put the word of God in your heart.  

GUARD AGAINST ANGER:

One of the ways by which people err in words is by anger.  Often times when we are angry, we lose control and say things that we later regret unfortunately by the time we calm down enough to weigh our outbursts and utterances and perhaps even apologies for them the damage is already done.

LEARN HOW TO GIVE THANKS:

A Heart that knows how to give thanks is likely to speak Godly words than an ungrateful one.  A thankful heart does not complain and a complaining heart cannot give thanks.  Praise will help tune your tongue to speak right words therefore learn to praise more.

(As contributed by Bio Melody Abadi and edited by Ngozi Charles Udofia).

THE GRACE FOR HEADSHIP

                                                                                  NGOZI CHARLES UDOFIA

THE GRACE FOR HEADSHIP

From the beginning the woman was given a supportive role by God to aid, assist, and stand alongside of the man. Infact, she was called a helpmeet at Eden. In all the duties expected from the woman before her creation, headship was never part of it because to be the head means to be in authority.

First, let me make it clear what headship is not: it is not justification for men to control, demean, and enslave their wives in the name of religion.  Sadly, many men in the church mistakenly believe this to be true and quote countless Scriptures roughly out of context to support their misguided thinking.

Rather, headship can be defined as the divine calling of a husband to take primary RESPONSIBILITY for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection and provision in the home. As a result, headship authority exists and is being exercised by the men (only) to further the agenda of Christ and it is demonstrated in the way they lay down their lives for the good of their home and everyone in it. This simply means that the man has been given the special responsibility to lead his family whether he is poor, weak, illiterate, timid and naïve or just name it.

Ironically, the multi-facet gift of the woman puts her in a controversial position that sometimes assumes her the leader instead of the helper that she truly is. Today’s woman has been over brushed with education, career, financial empowerment, societal class and exposures amongst others that she has almost left her role as a helpmeet to stamping her orders in the home in the name of leadership .  Or could it be that the man has pretended to forget his role as a leader and that has made the woman now to stand to the challenge of leadership instead of the family to be totally left out of a leader in quote.

 Whatever the reasons may be, the relationship between the woman and her husband is supposed to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other. Jesus gave Himself to make the church holy, radiant, and blameless, to the point of sacrificing Himself on the cross for her.  Yes sacrificial living is supposed to be the foundation on which headship should be built upon but what if that is not the case?

What if the man is living a self-centered, self focused and self absorbed lifestyle sweetheart what do you do.  What if he creates the environment where he orders his wife and children around like a grand sultan or an emir (whose wives should be in the pudar) and constantly subjects her with all the Biblical verses about submission that he has crammed. A preacher once said that Gods word in the hands of a religious fool can do immense harm. In all these attitudes, do we have any reason not to willingly submit to the headship of our God given leaders cum spouses? The answer is no. So what do we do?

HAVING A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF GODSWORD

Reading and understanding Gods word is one thing and having a personal experience/testimony of what Gods word has proved out in your life is another.  A journey into Gods word with the help of the Holy Spirit will make you understand that for you to truly submit to your spouse you must be able to totally submit to the headship of Jesus Christ first and foremost.

God’s word will also help you to realize that no matter what you think that you have as a woman: money, class, professional expertise or gigantic spirituality etc, you do not have the headship of the home, simple.  It’s this walk into Gods word that will help you to learn how to sink your individuality in your spouse, become safe enough in his presence to always bare your mind, trust his love enough to express your mistakes without feeling that he will disgrace or embarrass you, his smiling gratitude becomes all you need as a reward and gradually making him your paradise.

CONSTANTLY PRAYING FOR HIM ON GRACE FOR LEADERSHIP

It’s not a surprise that some men naturally expects their wives to take the lead; to be responsible for the upbringing of their children, lavish their finance for the well keep of the home and even lead in the spiritual activities/commitments in the home thereby abandoning their God given manhood responsibility.  For these kinds of men, rarely will they make decisions, provide direction or even be open to discuss any matter because they believe that the woman of the house is quite capable to handle it all.  Yet, there are others who actually lead their home by making the environment to be a living hell for everyone.  It therefore becomes our responsibility as women to constantly pray that our men will have the grace for headship. This will be demonstrated when he has the character of Christ to encourage and equip everyone in the home to love, honor, and glorify God, love each other, and experience the blessings that naturally flow inside of this kind of environment.

As we obey Gods word and pray for these men to have the grace for headship, the Almighty God who has made weak vessels like us to become the great and life helpers of these leaders will give us the wisdom to know what to do and say per time in Jesus name. Amen.

THE UNCOMMON WOMAN

THE UNCOMMON WOMAN

·        The Uncommon woman does not do what everybody does.

·        The uncommon woman spends 50% of her day thinking and 30% working.

·        The uncommon woman is time conscious.  She does everything at the right time.

·        Uncommon woman does not blend in, she stands out.

·        Uncommon woman does not have this ‘what will people say’ mentally. 

She does what she must do.

·        Uncommon woman does not live life by chance; she makes life what she wants out of it.

·        Uncommon woman prepares her tomorrow today. She has a clear vision of her future.

·        Uncommon woman knows the mind of her creator about her existence.

·        She knows why she is in planet earth (purpose).

·        Uncommon woman does uncommon things.

·        Uncommon woman is celebrated and imitated.

·        Uncommon woman gets the best out of life.

·        Uncommon woman makes you live a comfortable life on earth because she is the inventors of several things that give us comfort.  She fuels our lives.

·        Uncommon woman still lives on even when she is dead.  She can’t be forgotten.

YOU TOO CAN BECOME THAT UNCOMMON WOMAN TODAY.

(As contributed by OKO JAJA GLORY and edited by Ngozi Charles Udofia).

AGONIES OF A WIDOW

                                                        

               AGONIES OF A WIDOW

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the father is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction and to keep himself unspotted from the world (James 1:27).

A widow in this content is a woman whose husband is dead and has not remarried. The challenges of widowhood are so enormous that the gift of longevity from God is the greatest testimony of all testimonies we can ever think of and never thank God enough for.

Amongst the challenges of widowhood includes insults and molestations, intimidations, abuses, subjections and torture, disclamations, accusations and counter accusations, denials of property and right, made to swear oaths, dragged to court and sometimes imprisoned, dispossessed of property, scrapping of hairs, rejected and even ejected from their husband homes especially when they have no child(ren) to stand for them.

The question then is ‘what can we do to ease the agonies of a widow in our midst’.  In fact, by the grace of God, Jesus Evangelical Power Mission (JEPM) has organized a day that is tagged ‘Pure Religion Day’.  This is a day where packaged items ranging from nutritious provisions to groceries and even financial empowerment are rendered to the widows and the needy in our midst. Avail yourself the opportunity to partake in this exercise and attract Gods blessing upon your life in Jesus name.  Amen.

Again, state and federal government should enact laws that will defend the right of every widow.  Moreover, non governmental organizations (NGO) can create awareness programmes on the best ways to handle the cases of widowhood.  As we contribute our quarter in improving the lives of the widows in our midst we are simple telling God: widowhood is not our portion in Jesus name.  Amen. 

(As contributed by Anthony Okoroafor and edited by Ngozi Charles Udofia)

MOTHER OF THE LIVING

                       Ngozi Charles Udofia

MOTHER OF THE LIVING

And you shall be called Eve, the mother of all the living.  After the fall of man and Adam was left alone with his wife, one expected to see the argument that usually parades between couples whenever something goes wrong.  Instead when they left the presence where God made his judgment, not only to them but to mankind in general, this maiden husband of all seasons and generations, the dust who just became man in a matter of seconds without having the experience of growing and experiencing development like you and I looked at the woman who made him to be in the dilemma he was with God and looked on the brighter side of the relationship. One would have expected him to rain blames and abuses on his wife as the manner of some spouse are but instead of calling his wife names he saw the strength that was embedded in the (weak) vessel before him and chose to identify her with that strength. Hence the name EVE: a life giver.

What are you going through in life that has placed names and blames on you instead of identifying with and celebrating the wealth of strength that resides in you.  One of the greatest gifts God has given the woman is the ability to bring anything to life if she wants to. Today, that business, relationship or finance is not working the way it should, not because all things are not being equal, but baby, it’s not working because YOU the woman have not decided to sincerely and selflessly put this ability into it. There could be a million reasons why a woman may not put this ability to give life into work. They include the following:

INGRATITUDE FROM OTHER PERSONS INVOLVED:

Every woman loves to be appreciated. But the devil chooses to make sure that this spice is totally removed from our homes, offices, churches and nation.  Everybody expects you to sacrifice and even drain your blood in making sure that life is giving to a thing without anybody appreciating the extra efforts, discipline and commitment that were put in place to make that thing work.  Tell me, whenever you stop going through the extra mile of bringing life because of ingratitude from whoever, who suffers the stagnation MOST? A pat on the back, a smile of recognition and a nod as a sign of gratitude definitely goes a long way to make a difference but should we stop from doing that which we were created to do because somebody somewhere pretends not to notice.  Every woman should look beyond the gratitude of man and begin to see God as her rewarder, for Him alone can truly quantify her level of sacrifice and reward her accordingly.

UNFLOURISHING EFFORTS:

It’s always frustrating when one gives his best and it does not flourish as one expects.  So many women toil very hard, utilizing their God given abilities only to get frustrated because their expectations were not initially met.  As a result, they decided to end it there. It should be recalled that when God made man, he gathered the dust and began forming man out of the dust.  Even when God had formed man with all his parts intact he breathed into him before the dust became man.

I don’t know the level that you are now in your efforts; it could be in the gathering of the dust, the forming of man (or anything) out of that dust or in the breathing level just know that you are a life giver after the image of God.  All the demons in hell and the firmament of the earth must obey you because you have a spiritual order that must be obeyed: the mother of living.  If anything must live, be it your spouse, relationship, career or finance, all it needs is your will power to release the God given ability of giving it life.

I see you creating life and beauty around you in Jesus name. Amen